Had It/Lost It 2

I had this idea way back. There was this pure vision. It was crystal clear and yet completely undefinable, but I could feel it in my bones. This ephemeral idea was the kind of comics that I wanted to create. It was pure and beautiful and intense.

Somewhere along the way I lost it. I was forced to bend. My first attempts at capturing this idea were rejected. It was too vague. I went a different direction. I conformed. What exactly it was I conformed to is a little unclear. Perhaps it was conforming to what I thought it was that people wanted. No, not to what people wanted, but to a form that people could accept. People accept things in patterns they're familiar with.

I've done three graphic novels, but I don't think graphic novels were ever my intention. My original intention was little pieces, little moments. I wanted to capture those moments that seem so barely there that you're not even sure they happened.

I got off the track.

And I want to go back, but not to those vague feelings and undefinable concepts. I want to get back to that intensity and purity. Back then, when I sat down at the drawing board I felt like I was on a mission. It was all or nothing, death or glory.

I'd like to get back there again.