Reasons to be Cheerful Part 3

December thirty-first! Another year almost done! A new one just about to get begun! Good grief. Well, at least I ended the old year on the good foot with a four-mile run first thing this morning, the first one in three or four weeks (in which time I made up for the lack of exercise by eating my weight in cookies on a daily basis).

And I know I said forget making resolutions on Monday, but I just can't help myself.

Eleven resolutions for 2011!

1. Memorize the periodic table.
2. Publish a tract on the proper way to ride a city bus (because apparently some people need this; for example, if there is an empty seat in front of you, SIT IN IT! Don't just stand there blocking the way, you big dope!)(I know there is this idea that if you're a healthy young man in the prime of life that you shouldn't take that seat and instead should leave it for someone decrepit, but all you are doing is blocking the aisle of the bus and blocking the view of all the empty seats in the back of the bus, and suddenly in a few stops the front of the bus is all clogged with people standing up because you were standing up because why would you be standing up if there were empty seats)(and if someone decrepit does come on the bus you can always stand up and give them your seat and then all the people on the bus will think, "What a kind young man.")(SO SIT DOWN!!!)
3. Calm down and stop foaming at the mouth about how people don't know how to ride the bus.
4. Get a firmer understanding of the history of the Austro-Hungarian Empire (I know, I know, I know, I made the same resolution last year).
5. Find out just who exactly this Justin Bieber character is.
6. Remember to close the cabinet doors in my kitchen instead of leaving them open all the time.
7. Cease snorting derisively when anyone mentions McSweeney's.
8. Smile more frequently
9. Wear headphones less often.
10. Bake a wide variety of breads.
11. Refrain from mocking books and movies that I have never actually read or seen.

And that's all for me. Happy New Year! Let's hope it's a good one without any fear.