The Facade

Another week come and gone. I had the plan at the beginning of the week that I would be super productive. I knew Thursday was Thanksgiving and that Friday would be spent riding in a car, but those first three days and then Saturday and Sunday I was going to go all out. I was just going to whip out those pages. But somehow it seems that whenever I think that way it almost guarantees that I won't be productive. I'll start thinking about how much I need to work, how much I need to draw. I'll start brooding on it. I think about it when I'm brushing my teeth and in the shower and when I'm having a meal. It'll keep me up at night. I'll find myself waking up at three in the morning thinking I need to be drawing, I need to be productive. But all that thinking just ends up wearing me out. My mind has run a marathon even before I've sat down at the drawing board. And none of that thinking really has anything to do with the drawing. I'm not figuring anything out, I'm just telling myself I need to be drawing, which I already knew already.

Why do I become my own nag?